Thursday, January 21, 2010

Believe In Yourself

"If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." I found this anonymous quote this morning, and it really struck a chord. So many times we go through life hunched over, not wanting to look the world in the eye. We want to shrink away from attention, just go about our business and be invisible. Does this sound like you?

It's difficult to stand up and face life head-on. For some people, it's almost impossible. Our sense of self-value can be lower than the value of the dollar. Do you feel that way? When you look at yourself, do you see someone that is worth something, or do you see someone that would make even George Bailey feel better about himself?

We need to stop thinking this way. Everyone has worth. Another phrase I've heard is "You may be nothing to everybody, but to somebody, you're everything." Even if you don't realize it, someone is watching you and learning from you. You are the world to someone.

A great example of this is Susan Boyle. Looking nothing like the typical contestant, this plain looking woman signed up for Britain's Got Talent. She walked out on stage, and the initial reaction from the judges and audience was scorn. How could this plain woman even THINK she has talent? Susan was nervous. Facing an audience of scowling faces, who wouldn't be? Yet this woman had the courage, the self-confidence to open her mouth and sing. Sing she did, indeed! Susan Boyle is now an international sensation simply because she believed in herself enough to face the world (quite literally!) and show what she has.

Isn't it time for you to take another look in the mirror and decide what it is you have to offer? Even if you personally don't see anything to be proud of, consider this: You are unique. You are the only person exactly like you. Even identical twins have SOME differences. You need to be proud of the fact that you are YOU. Be yourself. Ted Geisel said it best: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Susan Boyle did it. How can we do any less?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Bullying Stops Here

Bullying. Harassment. Schools are supposed to be safe zones for our children. The problem is, anyone with children should be able to tell you this isn't true. School can be one of the worst places for children.

Anti-bullying campaigns are very popular now. Posters and t-shirts are everywhere, claiming no tolerance for picking on people. Most of the time, it's the students wearing the shirts and posting the signs that are doing the harassing. If you're not the same color, or not the same size, or just not popular enough, you're considered fair game.

Sadly, school faculty isn't equipped to handle this. Teachers can do little more than talk to the students. Of course, those involved deny doing anything wrong, even in the face of evidence and witnesses. These kids know their parents aren't going to do anything about it.

My own sons have been bullied for years. One son has even had rocks thrown at him by other kids, simply for walking down the street. When I confronted the parents of the kids involved, the only concern the mother had was that her own son had cut his own hair. She didn't care at all about the fact her son had hit my son with rocks.

Another popular method of harassment is cyber bullying. With the predominance of social web sites, it's easier than ever to pick on someone without once having to look them in the eye. I've seen kids set up fake profiles and chat up kids to get them to confide secrets, only to take these secrets and spread them around the school. We've all seen on the news of the mother that created a fake profile to harass her own daughter's competition.

Where do our children learn how to treat others? Anyone that didn't say "Home", you really need to think again. Home is where it all starts. Consider how YOU treat other people. Do you mock people, bully people, push your way through lines and intimidate? Do you simply make fun of people in the privacy of your own home? Your children see all this. They learn how to do things by watching how YOU do things.

When we teach our children bad behavior, they follow the example. When we teach our children good behavior, they follow the example. If we can't learn to appreciate other people for who they are, how can we expect our children to do so?

Now, I'm sure some of you are asking yourselves how this pertains to you. After all, YOUR children are good and would NEVER pick on someone. Right? Guess again. We are not perfect. Our children are not perfect. Mistakes will happen. We need to teach our children right from wrong, and lead by example.

I know we've all heard of Columbine. Many schools around the country have had similar cases of students coming in with guns and causing havoc. What often gets overlooked is the fact that most of the students that do this have been bullied by classmates, and when they reach out for help nothing is done. Maybe the bully is the star athlete, or the rich kid, it doesn't matter. Nothing gets done. Finally these students can't take it any more and react in the only way they see left open to them.

Before anyone complains about this, let me state here: Not all students that have done this have been bullied. And not all star athletes or rich kids are bullies.

Bullying is a Hate Crime. It needs to be treated as such. Hate needs to be removed from our children, from our schools, from our lives. It begins, and it ends, at home. Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with YOU.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Loss of Manners

There once was a time in this country, in this world, when people had manners. They might not have cared about their fellow earth dwellers, but for the most part people tried to get along.

In this modern time of ours, manners seem to have disappeared. Courtesy and decency are things of the past. People have become rude, self centered and inconsiderate. Road rage is no longer a major news story but a common occurrence. Shootings over who holds the television remote are becoming more frequent. Anger holds sway in the vast majority of households. Violence has gone from a last resort to the first reaction.

There's a book that, oddly enough, is a best seller. Most houses in America has a copy of it, as does a lot of the English speaking world. If asked, however, most people have never read it, or done more than skim through it. The name of this book is The Bible. In this book is a set of rules for living a good life, and a large number of people that I know personally claim to live by these rules. Sadly, too many of them can't live up to this claim.

One of these rules states something to the effect that you shouldn't tell lies. Sound familiar? Maybe you've heard "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"? Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? I can tell you, though, entirely too many people that show up to church every week and listen to sermon after sermon couldn't tell you more than half of these rules, and live by even less.

People, it's easy. You don't have to care what people think of you. It's really not that important. However, you should have some consideration for those around them. Being polite is a good start. Have some consideration for your fellow man or woman. Don't spread rumors. Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Think about it this way: If you treat people the way you would have them treat you, they will treat you the same way. If everyone did this, if everyone treated others the way they wanted to be treated, this world would be a much better place.